She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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