dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
