we're blogging at a bar
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
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