Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
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