He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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