I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
Randomize
