i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
