I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
