Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
I think i got beer on your cat.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
