I want to stick my p in your. b.
I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Randomize
