Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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