VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Randomize
