Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
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