mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
