I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
