I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
Randomize
