But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
