well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
