Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
