Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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