We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
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