There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
