Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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