I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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