i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Randomize
