But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
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