well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
