So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Randomize
