I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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