i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Randomize
