i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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