i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
