um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
