Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
