im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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