Please, let me fuck your mom
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
