Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
