So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
