Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
Randomize
