Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
Randomize
