I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Randomize
