Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
Randomize
