i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Randomize
