only if we run a train.
done.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
