Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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