where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
