Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Someone signed my nipple.
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