she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Randomize
