I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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