He asked to "fluff my boner.."
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
