I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Randomize
