Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Randomize
